.: Oxymoronic :.

OOO (Out of Office)

You might wonder what am I doing here blogging and it's the last Saturday before the Halloween.

Don't fret. I do also.

It was supposed to be the first badminton activity I'd be having in five months. Lemony Snickets got in its way. Mel got sick so the thing was cancelled. And eventually, the whole after-game drinking sessions were crossed out altogether. Damn.

Good thing I came with a few of my teammates last night to watch a movie and basically have nice chit-chat until 2AM. I almost dismissed the whole idea earlier. But to get to see a flick, dine out and have coffee while dissecting your miserable life is rewarding enough. At least I got to validate one more flaw with myself: Lucky said that I am too choosy; my standards are way too high that I can never find a good enough date. Ouch!

When you're at home, you just wanna stay there but it's hard not to talk about the office. This week has been a week of shockers, and zig-zags. To put it simply, changes are happening, as always. Next week, I'd be facing quite another challenge. Meh. I'm used to it anyway. People come and go. The best news that happened this Work Week on the other hand would be my stack ranking. From 49th to 39th to 22nd, my team is slowly inching its way to the top. We're in the Top Ten now!

This weekend sucks major balls, now I have to overhear those Pinoy Dream Academy hopefuls hopeless. I don't (can't) sing but whoa, they're painful! People! Don't waste your precious credits on these...half-baked emotional break-downers. Ugh. Those who can't do it criticize, so let me be.

...and please don't get me started on the Boom Tarat Tarat madness. As if Willie Revillame is not enough.

I need a (better) hobby.

Current mood: annoyed
Current music: Kenia - Initial Thrill

Flourish and Drought

Today I had my first meeting with my new boss. It was too early in the morning and it was done on such short notice that I wasn't able to prepare enough. Fortunately, my Action Plan for October was already in place and ready to be flashed around. The meeting lasted for a grueling hour or so. But for some strange reason, I felt relieved and as soon as I was done with the session, I went around the floor to do my walkabout with a lifted spirit. I wasn't able to finish what I'm gonna do today, but I feel that I have accomplished a lot.

Well, life in the office has been pretty much a smoother ride now. Pressures are slowly sliding off my back. When it comes to handling my team, I think I have everything under control this time. The resources that I need are there already - extra tentacles for me, bwahahaha! I have a vision: in 2-3 months I will be recognized as one of the most admired Team Leads by agents. I don't wish to become the most proficient or the most adept with processes but I want to be the most inlfluential. It's manifestation - of course, better stats. So, Team Minotaur, I know you're reading this. Make your Banker proud, and of course I won't fail you as well. We've got a long way to go.

It seems like my corporate life is on a flourishing outlook. Let's take a look on some other aspects of my life. I'd like to take a page off Merriam-Webster's Dictionary:

Main Entry: drought
Pronunciation: 'draut Variant(s): also drouth /'drauth/
Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, from Old English drugath, from drugian to dry up; akin to Old English dryge dry
1 : a period of dryness especially when prolonged; specifically : one that causes extensive damage to crops or prevents their successful growth
2 : a prolonged or chronic shortage or lack of something expected or desired  

It's not anymore a mystery. The rest of my life is rather...barren. Weekends are not as exciting as they were. Nothing seems to fall into place when I try to go out. All my friends have different schedules now. All of us. No amount of planning can ever put us all together. My restdays are crap. Who will go out with you on a Monday?! So there. Slowly, I am becoming a social handicap.

It only follows that my dating life is (as of last update) STILL zero. I'm done with K. I received no reciprocation - that's perfectly fine with me. At least I tried, and for a little while I enjoyed a little flirting on the side. But seriously, I am so ready to be in love again (as mushy as it may sound right now). I think I already found that 'one', but fate has once again pulled another trick from her sleeve. How can it happen when two people like each other but they just can't be? Basically, I don't have too much questions to throw. I know I like B and soon enough, I will get answers.

Now I don't know where to pick myself up. I have my loyalties to one person but I'm not committed. Do I date someone else and wait for the answers to come? It's completely a big dilemma. Maybe I'll just enjoy myself. I know B would understand that, hopefully. Let me be.

You ask me how's sex? Please refer back to the dictionary entry.

Current mood: longing
Current song: U2 - When I Look At The World

Burgerzzz. Bruxism. Brightsides. Barricades...

My normal route to work involved a stop and drop to Gilmore Station of LRT2. My office is situated in the most barren of surroundings when it comes to getting fastfood. As always, pantry food is almost synonymous to repetitive and crap. Now, I don't eat cooked lunch at work and would have to rely on ready-to-eat snack packs. But some of the people in the office have depended on one special stand just near the office building to answer the call of their tummies - Buena Bonita Burgers. These are reminiscent of the Scott Burgers that you can buy one and get one free. Surprisingly, this version is waaaay too cheap for Php10 a sandwich. It makes you wonder how much cow meat has really been put into it. It barely even smells beef. They say it's good, but I've yet to try it. Hello, I'm skeptical, but for the sake of trying, I'll devour one and judge from there. Who would have thought, in the wake of hunger and modern ways to create faster and cheaper full meal alternatives, Pinoys have yet again "innovated" to create something that satisfies the palate but doesn't tear a hole in a one's pocket...no matter what it's really made of.

***

I definitely don't know how to handle stress. I thought joking around the office and laughing everything out loud, together with the constant grocery shopping would help combat the tension I get from my perpetually challenging work. I've got no room for mediocrity that everytime I screw up I get a wild twitch in my eye, which I voluntarily fight. But against my knowledge I still react to stress when I sleep. My Dad has been noticing that when I get to deep slumber, I restlessly grind my teeth against each other, so hard that it makes a noise. My dentist uncle has validated that it is indeed my body's psychosomatic reaction to pressure - a case of Bruxism. I might end up losing my teeth one by one so I better get those mouth guards to prevent this from happening; and of course, find more effective ways to relieve stress. No wonder my jaws hurt in the morning!!

***

Speaking of stress and negative energy around the office I have again have to get hold of myself before I fume in anger. My schedule is completely messed up. I only have one rest day for this week which essentially, is not even close to a full day. Once again, my hopes were crushed to get a weekend off work. Most of my teammates will get to enjoy this, so I'm really confused and irritated by this. But looking at the brightside, I got a pretty decent morning schedule. I may get to enjoy malling after my shift. Though, maybe tomorrow I'll try to raise my issue cos it's still unclear to me.

***

Here I am again with the never-ending cryptic update. It seems like the shine and luster from yesterday's flirtation is slowly losing its glow. And yes, until now, it is STILL in the flirtation stage. I'm not really sure if it's really that way or eventually gonna go into somewhere else. My heart says stay but my mind says go. I think I'm exerting quite an effort to reach out, but every time I find a reason to go forward, there are two reasons to halt and step back. Am I the only one who thinks about these barricades? Obviously, I'm not looking for signs to interpret anymore, I need the real thing. Whatever message I'm trying to get across has already been received by the other party. It's probably time for you to let me know what you need me to do. I will be waiting for your response...which ever manner you want to.

***

There should be a fifth 'B' in this entry but historically speaking, I should not utter a word about it. I'm notorious for jinxing my own excitement. So, I have to keep it to myself first. *wink*